Sunday, January 13, 2008
Changes!
My committee can no longer meet my tentative date and each subsequent date has not worked. I am sincerely praying that we can get a date for final defense worked out on Monday. It will most likely be on Feb 4-Feb 6th - when Mark is out of town (which is a bummer) but not as much as not ever getting this done. I am frustrated! Praying for the Lord to work this one out.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Green Pastures
Haven't you always loved green pastures? Growing up, I would go to the top of the hill behind the house and sit and watch the hills roll... especially in the spring, those beautiful green pastures of the Palouse. I miss those hills. Green pastures are the sign of life, of providence, a sign that God is in the details of the landscape.
Yesterday, my email devotion talked about green pastures. I actually think KD might have already blogged on this one:
“He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.” Psalm 23:2-3 (NIV)
And it asked, what are your green pastures? Where does the Lord restore you? So, I have had to focus on this, because I want to be taken away by the stress of the dissertation, the mounting pile of work, the "Let's have Pizza." because I can't imagine trying to cook a real meal, the need to take down the 2 Christmas Trees I love to much...tasks, tasks, tasks.
And yet, the Lord will provide, daily, minute by minute, if necessary a way to restore your soul. Yesterday I re-read an email KD sent to me - four times. I re-read an email my Mom and Dad sent to me, I talked with two friends, I laughed uncontrollably with my sister (seriously - I think she was going to commit me), I was calmed down and prayed over by my husband, I listened to the voice mail of Tawnya, I read for fun for 15 minutes before I fell into a deep sleep, I went for a walk this morning to STARBUCKS with Mark and Boone...and I feel restored today. Restored enough to finish a daunting task (and no, I am not done, close, but not quite done).
But I have to tell you, yesterday when I went to bed, I was TIRED...I had a huge knot between my shoulder blades and I was done...and yet today I am restored.
If I feel this much better in one morning, think if how great that will be the day we are fully restored in heaven.
So today, I pray to contemplate the beautiful ways that the Lord restores my soul. I vow to find the green, beautiful, rolling pastures of the Palouse in snowy Ft. Collins, CO. Like the rainbow is God's covenant to his people, maybe those beautiful green pastures are a covenant with us that he will restore us, continually, until we are finally fully restored with Him.
Thank you for your love and prayers.
Yesterday, my email devotion talked about green pastures. I actually think KD might have already blogged on this one:
“He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.” Psalm 23:2-3 (NIV)
And it asked, what are your green pastures? Where does the Lord restore you? So, I have had to focus on this, because I want to be taken away by the stress of the dissertation, the mounting pile of work, the "Let's have Pizza." because I can't imagine trying to cook a real meal, the need to take down the 2 Christmas Trees I love to much...tasks, tasks, tasks.
And yet, the Lord will provide, daily, minute by minute, if necessary a way to restore your soul. Yesterday I re-read an email KD sent to me - four times. I re-read an email my Mom and Dad sent to me, I talked with two friends, I laughed uncontrollably with my sister (seriously - I think she was going to commit me), I was calmed down and prayed over by my husband, I listened to the voice mail of Tawnya, I read for fun for 15 minutes before I fell into a deep sleep, I went for a walk this morning to STARBUCKS with Mark and Boone...and I feel restored today. Restored enough to finish a daunting task (and no, I am not done, close, but not quite done).
But I have to tell you, yesterday when I went to bed, I was TIRED...I had a huge knot between my shoulder blades and I was done...and yet today I am restored.
If I feel this much better in one morning, think if how great that will be the day we are fully restored in heaven.
So today, I pray to contemplate the beautiful ways that the Lord restores my soul. I vow to find the green, beautiful, rolling pastures of the Palouse in snowy Ft. Collins, CO. Like the rainbow is God's covenant to his people, maybe those beautiful green pastures are a covenant with us that he will restore us, continually, until we are finally fully restored with Him.
Thank you for your love and prayers.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Goal #2 Work
I need to talk about work today. I have a New Year's resolution regarding work...I am just not sure what it is. I like my job. I feel like I can do my job. I know that I am in over my head at times in my job. But, I would like to think that I understand how to develop ag teachers...perhaps because I love the profession so much.
But lately I feel like I have had multiple set-backs in this profession. And I have to tell you I have worked pretty dang hard lately, so I am a little frustrated and I am wondering what I am doing in this job.
So here it is:
1) student evaluations - I work hard for students, I do a lot of advising. I am the lone department member, so it is required. I spend way more time than I should doing this (according to my percentage). And the students hammered me on my class evaluations. I really felt like I had worked hard and had taught the class better than I ever had - and I got hammered. They knew that I was working hard on my dissertation - and they said that it got "in the way" of my teaching...What??? Truly, research is 50% of my load - meaning that I should be spending 2.5 days researching each week - and student teaching and advising should only be a little over a day. I way over-did it and I didn't do so hot...
2) I am writing and correcting and writing and revising and I truly feel like things are starting to come together, until I got my chapter 4 revisions yesterday. Bloody with red ink. I keep thinking I am improving and yet it seems to be getting harder. This is what I will need to do. Every day. Can I do this?
3) Yesterday I got contacted by an institution in Iowa who has been asked to come and recruit COLORADO ag teachers for ADVANCED degrees at our SUMMER CONFERENCE. What? They were asked to participate by a COLORADO ag teacher who told him that we did not ADVANCED degrees (which we do and they know it). I give a lot to state. I coordinate all of the judging contests, I run parliamentary procedure and ag mechanics, I attend and assist at all state functions, I offer cheap credits for teachers to move on the salary schedule, and this is the thanks that I get? Are you kidding? So, 15 percent of my time is service - and I probably do more like 50 percent. And they want ANOTHER institution, under my nose, to come and recruit under me? AAAHHHHHH...
So, I wonder, why am I here? The doors have certainly opened for me and I have felt called to do this, and yet I feel like for each thing I accomplish I have a mountain ahead of me. It is at times frustrating and overwhelming. In each section of my job, I have felt set backs. I am wondering, is all this work worth it?
Now, I know that there are a lot of ways that I can do my job better. I need to grade projects faster. I need to communicate more, I need to be in the field working one on one with teachers, I need to write, write, write so that I can get better. I need to be more efficient. I need to love students even when they give me crappy evaluations. Hard to do. I need to not need affirmations, because this simply isn't a job where I will get them.
I have worked my tail off to be able to get a full-time permanent position in Ag Ed come August. I sure would like to know that I have done this for a reason and that I will like this job when I actually get it!
So, venting and whining a little bit today. And praying that work and effort here is pleasing to the Lord and that I realize on a daily basis why I am where I am. I want to be able to show the love and compassion of Christ. I truly don't know how he did it when he was beaten down.
So, to scripture I go:
Psalm 3:5-6: Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
2 Thess 3:13: And as for your, brothers, never tire of doing what is right.
Col 3:23: Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.
Ecc 2:24: A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This, too, I see is from the hand of God.
Phil 2:14: Do all things without grumbling or disputing.
PS 37:23-24: If the Lord delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm, though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his right hand.
2 Thess 3:10: For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: If a man will not work, he shall not eat.
2 Thess 3:11: We hear some among you are idle. They are not busy, they are busy bodies.
Lord, I pray over my work in the new year. Help it to be satisfying and fulfilling. Help me to know what I am in this role and why I am here. Help me to do this well. Let this job be something you own, and I am just an instrument in it. Lord, help me to be busy and not idle, not a busy body. When things don't go well, help me to remember that stumbling is a step, making me a better person that you can hold up. Remind me to find satisfaction daily in what I do and when things don't go right to not grumble...I commit this job and my work to you. Amen.
But lately I feel like I have had multiple set-backs in this profession. And I have to tell you I have worked pretty dang hard lately, so I am a little frustrated and I am wondering what I am doing in this job.
So here it is:
1) student evaluations - I work hard for students, I do a lot of advising. I am the lone department member, so it is required. I spend way more time than I should doing this (according to my percentage). And the students hammered me on my class evaluations. I really felt like I had worked hard and had taught the class better than I ever had - and I got hammered. They knew that I was working hard on my dissertation - and they said that it got "in the way" of my teaching...What??? Truly, research is 50% of my load - meaning that I should be spending 2.5 days researching each week - and student teaching and advising should only be a little over a day. I way over-did it and I didn't do so hot...
2) I am writing and correcting and writing and revising and I truly feel like things are starting to come together, until I got my chapter 4 revisions yesterday. Bloody with red ink. I keep thinking I am improving and yet it seems to be getting harder. This is what I will need to do. Every day. Can I do this?
3) Yesterday I got contacted by an institution in Iowa who has been asked to come and recruit COLORADO ag teachers for ADVANCED degrees at our SUMMER CONFERENCE. What? They were asked to participate by a COLORADO ag teacher who told him that we did not ADVANCED degrees (which we do and they know it). I give a lot to state. I coordinate all of the judging contests, I run parliamentary procedure and ag mechanics, I attend and assist at all state functions, I offer cheap credits for teachers to move on the salary schedule, and this is the thanks that I get? Are you kidding? So, 15 percent of my time is service - and I probably do more like 50 percent. And they want ANOTHER institution, under my nose, to come and recruit under me? AAAHHHHHH...
So, I wonder, why am I here? The doors have certainly opened for me and I have felt called to do this, and yet I feel like for each thing I accomplish I have a mountain ahead of me. It is at times frustrating and overwhelming. In each section of my job, I have felt set backs. I am wondering, is all this work worth it?
Now, I know that there are a lot of ways that I can do my job better. I need to grade projects faster. I need to communicate more, I need to be in the field working one on one with teachers, I need to write, write, write so that I can get better. I need to be more efficient. I need to love students even when they give me crappy evaluations. Hard to do. I need to not need affirmations, because this simply isn't a job where I will get them.
I have worked my tail off to be able to get a full-time permanent position in Ag Ed come August. I sure would like to know that I have done this for a reason and that I will like this job when I actually get it!
So, venting and whining a little bit today. And praying that work and effort here is pleasing to the Lord and that I realize on a daily basis why I am where I am. I want to be able to show the love and compassion of Christ. I truly don't know how he did it when he was beaten down.
So, to scripture I go:
Psalm 3:5-6: Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
2 Thess 3:13: And as for your, brothers, never tire of doing what is right.
Col 3:23: Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.
Ecc 2:24: A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This, too, I see is from the hand of God.
Phil 2:14: Do all things without grumbling or disputing.
PS 37:23-24: If the Lord delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm, though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his right hand.
2 Thess 3:10: For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: If a man will not work, he shall not eat.
2 Thess 3:11: We hear some among you are idle. They are not busy, they are busy bodies.
Lord, I pray over my work in the new year. Help it to be satisfying and fulfilling. Help me to know what I am in this role and why I am here. Help me to do this well. Let this job be something you own, and I am just an instrument in it. Lord, help me to be busy and not idle, not a busy body. When things don't go well, help me to remember that stumbling is a step, making me a better person that you can hold up. Remind me to find satisfaction daily in what I do and when things don't go right to not grumble...I commit this job and my work to you. Amen.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Two Years - A Renewed Offering
Lord, could this really be two years ago, already?
That incredible day filled with laughter with family...
And dear, dear friends...
The day we offered our lives in marriage to you. You have blessed this home, this union, and we pray that we will continually be your humble servants in this marriage.
We are an offering. All that we have, all that we are and all that we hope to be we AGAIN give to you, Lord. Be present, always, in this marriage. Let this be your relationship that you can be proud of.
And Lord, please know that we love you and thank you for the countless memories you have granted us...know that we realize that our blessings are from you.
And Lord, thank you for this man, for him being your plan for ME...I loved him that day two years ago...but I love him immeasurably more now. Happy Anniversary Mark! ILYMTYK!
We are an offering. All that we have, all that we are and all that we hope to be we AGAIN give to you, Lord. Be present, always, in this marriage. Let this be your relationship that you can be proud of.
And Lord, please know that we love you and thank you for the countless memories you have granted us...know that we realize that our blessings are from you.And Lord, thank you for this man, for him being your plan for ME...I loved him that day two years ago...but I love him immeasurably more now. Happy Anniversary Mark! ILYMTYK!
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Thursday, January 3, 2008
New Year Letters
Goal #1: Write Letters
One of my New Year's resolutions is to write more letters. Don't you just love getting letters? Now, don't get me wrong - I love instantaneous emails, blogs and phone calls, but a letter...someone went to the effort to write a LETTER...to me! It can just make some one's day (or it does mine, anyhow)! I read where Julia Roberts said that having a child made her a better child - that if her daughter didn't call for two weeks she would be devastated. That made sense to me. Now, I am not a parent (other than to our Black Lab), but if I came home from work and Boone didn't know me - why, it would break my heart!
In 2 Corinthians 3 it says "Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? or do we need, like some people letters of recommendation to you or from you? You yourselves are our letter, written on your hearts, known and read by everybody. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on the tablets of human hearts." Paul writes here as a minister of comfort, going through personal trials and frustrated by the church...and writes to comfort nevertheless. In fact he wrote many letters to encourage others, especially during his times of trials. I wonder if it helped him to take the focus off of himself and instead put it elsewhere - and that would be my prayer in this goal.
Many of the New Testament books are actually letters, always beginning with greetings of grace, peace and mercy. "Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ" says the start of Philemon (and Titus, Timothy, Corinthians, and others). In each letter Paul sends these greetings and then reminds them that he "Thanks God" for them - and prays joyfully for them. I often pray for my family and friends -and I joyfully thank God for the blessings that they are in my life. So, why don't I tell them as such? This is my New Year's goal. To be a 'letter of Christ.'
We write to make our Joy complete (1 John 1:4).
One of my New Year's resolutions is to write more letters. Don't you just love getting letters? Now, don't get me wrong - I love instantaneous emails, blogs and phone calls, but a letter...someone went to the effort to write a LETTER...to me! It can just make some one's day (or it does mine, anyhow)! I read where Julia Roberts said that having a child made her a better child - that if her daughter didn't call for two weeks she would be devastated. That made sense to me. Now, I am not a parent (other than to our Black Lab), but if I came home from work and Boone didn't know me - why, it would break my heart!
In 2 Corinthians 3 it says "Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? or do we need, like some people letters of recommendation to you or from you? You yourselves are our letter, written on your hearts, known and read by everybody. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on the tablets of human hearts." Paul writes here as a minister of comfort, going through personal trials and frustrated by the church...and writes to comfort nevertheless. In fact he wrote many letters to encourage others, especially during his times of trials. I wonder if it helped him to take the focus off of himself and instead put it elsewhere - and that would be my prayer in this goal.
Many of the New Testament books are actually letters, always beginning with greetings of grace, peace and mercy. "Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ" says the start of Philemon (and Titus, Timothy, Corinthians, and others). In each letter Paul sends these greetings and then reminds them that he "Thanks God" for them - and prays joyfully for them. I often pray for my family and friends -and I joyfully thank God for the blessings that they are in my life. So, why don't I tell them as such? This is my New Year's goal. To be a 'letter of Christ.'
We write to make our Joy complete (1 John 1:4).
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Happy New Year!
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires, to be made new in the attitude of your minds, and be put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:24
Happy 2008! We have arrived home after a trip to New Mexico, through Texas, to Oklahoma, and finally home. Our holiday was lovely. It was filled with laughter and fun, challenges and concerns, but God was faithful and we are all home safe and (somewhat) sound. A little weary after the 10 hour drive home yesterday, still a little sick, but happy to be home!
I welcome in the New Year. I love the newness of it. For some reason it is filled with a hope and a renewing of the spirit. I have many new goals this year; and some may say this is silly and we set ourselves up for disappointment, but I love it. I know that I am a child of Christ and a work in progress; so there must be some hope for improvement. I will explore these in the coming days. (You had better be ready Kay Dee!!). It is refreshing to share these with others, they provide good reminders of them. The new self...I want to understand my desires biblically...because somehow then, they will be more meaningful.
Until then, I hope that your holiday was filled with peace and love, with the gift of the Savior and the understanding of the spirit. Happy New Year. What "new" things are on your agenda?
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Happy 2008! We have arrived home after a trip to New Mexico, through Texas, to Oklahoma, and finally home. Our holiday was lovely. It was filled with laughter and fun, challenges and concerns, but God was faithful and we are all home safe and (somewhat) sound. A little weary after the 10 hour drive home yesterday, still a little sick, but happy to be home!
I welcome in the New Year. I love the newness of it. For some reason it is filled with a hope and a renewing of the spirit. I have many new goals this year; and some may say this is silly and we set ourselves up for disappointment, but I love it. I know that I am a child of Christ and a work in progress; so there must be some hope for improvement. I will explore these in the coming days. (You had better be ready Kay Dee!!). It is refreshing to share these with others, they provide good reminders of them. The new self...I want to understand my desires biblically...because somehow then, they will be more meaningful.
Until then, I hope that your holiday was filled with peace and love, with the gift of the Savior and the understanding of the spirit. Happy New Year. What "new" things are on your agenda?
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